I am surrounded by eternal optimists, and those who love them.  

You know the type.   They are always saying "Hang in there!"  "God wouldn't give you..." "There's a reason for everything!"  "The darkest hour..."   They try.  So hard.  Too hard.  I love them.

But I don't want to be them.

I want to be the person who shows up at your front door with a bottle of wine.   The one who always seems to be calling exactly when you need to be heard.  The one who puts flowers in your house while dog sitting.  The one who always finds something good about you.

But I'm not.

Normally, I'm just simply too wrapped up in my own life to notice.  It's not that I don't love you.  It's not that I don't care.  But God gave me children.  Four of them.  And they have filled my life.

I call my kids Grumpy, Hopeful, Bored and Drama.  The names are interchangeable.  With four kids, there is always someone grumpy, hopeful, bored or involved in drama.  Always.  Every day.  24/7.  365.

So you can imagine then what my life is like.

I always thought that as the perfect child, I would have perfect children.  That's what "they" always say, right?  "Wait till you have kids of your own!"  Well, if I was angelic, what happened?

See that's the only good part about my mom passing when my oldest was only 2.  I have been able to navigate parenthood thinking that I was the perfect child.  It is only now, 24 years later, that I realize that I was only perfect in my eyes.  To my mom, I am quite certain I was a lesson in love, letting go, and learning.

Just like my kids are.

So here's my blog.  With lessons I've learned along the way.  Things my not so perfect kids have taught me.

After all, when life hands you kids....